Goals

A Post Poe Pondering

/ dorothyhagan / Leave a comment

A Post Poe Pondering…

 

What, oh What, shall this Year bring?

A nominal nothing or a Mighty Thing?

 

So what is real and what is crap?

Lying wasted, I’ve had my nap.

Need to wander, ponder, saunter

Get my move on and really want to

Give the gift I have inside me

Need my muses to please guide me

Bradstreet, Poe, Dickinson, Thackeray

Though, am I worthy or full of quackery?

 

Nearing sixty and still no lasting

Works abound but still no passing

Into glory and recognition

Exiting from my field of vision

Of lasting on beyond my existence

Writing steady and with consistence.

 

Oh, Twain and Dickens, how’d you do it

Never ending, and rushed to do it!

 

I, who endlessly am lazy

Collect my thoughts yet still am hazy

Perhaps this now will be my year

To leave a tome, an atmosphere

Of something useful, mighty, keen

To once and for all fulfill my dream

 

Of leaving a mark on the earth’s blackboard

Of standing out amidst the horde

Of countess lives who all have meaning

Yet mostly silent and some left screaming

For the glory few will ever possess

Left out of history and steadfastness

Gone tomorrow and missed by none

Die in silence and no glory won.

 

Will I waken now and beckon

Will I finally face the reckon

Or still in cloud will go to sleep

And will not care if soul to keep?

 

Oh, these fates, they leave me breathless

Will I stand or still be feckless?

Grab the morrow!

Be brave and daring!

Quit the sniveling

And start preparing!

 

For the grandeur that awaits thee

Go get your glory, and let the fates be

Yours and only yours, you’re earned your places

Into history and bookcases!

 

Dorothy Hagan

December 30, 2018

Amtrak Train Ride Leg Two: The Staff

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So…where was I? Oh, yes. First night on the train. It was a long one.

The Sunset Limited arrives in San Antonio in the wee hours. As bad luck would have it, this particular night was lengthened by some engine trouble. However, we were underway before sunrise, and I arose to some beautiful West Texas scenery.

This route goes through Del Rio, Alpine, El Paso, and Tucson on its way to Los Angeles. It was very beautiful and much more visually interesting than I anticipated. My brother-in-law suggested a trip to Alpine, getting off here, driving a short distance to Marfa for the famous Marfa Lights, and then heading back to Houston. Now that I know what he was talking about, I agree this might be the ideal “baby trip” to make before heading across the country. A trip to Alpine on the train is now On My List!

So I guess I should answer some of the many questions my readers have regarding Amtrak train travel. I will try to be succinct. (No one laugh. I know my tendencies to the contrary.)

Here you go…an easy one. How fast does the train go? According to one of the staff members, 79 mph is the top speed. I am sure we never got near that speed. A time or two we went faster than the cars on the highways next to us. So I figured probably 60-65 mph tops.

And since I just mentioned staff, I just have to say a few words on that subject.

First, I have to state that much of the reason I had enough nerve to undertake this trip was because I have a friend who takes the train herself a lot, and she has a relative who works for Amtrak. Between my friend and her relative, virtually all my wild questions about train travel were answered before I ever left the station. I sincerely appreciated this information.

My first interaction from an onboard staff member was John who works in the cafe of the observation car. He works the Houston to Los Angeles run, and it is a long one. He was exceedingly pleasant, clever and cordial. Somehow he made a microwave pizza taste like a gourmet dish. He really was that pleasant. With delays and whatnot, this man and the other staff members worked equally exceedingly long hours. And stayed upbeat, courteous and cordial to the very end of the trip. I doubt my demeanor would have stayed so on target.

On the Coastal Starlight, we had Johnny who was in the cafe, and was also very helpful and pleasant on the trip. This leg of the trip seemed to have more eaters and drinkers, and he also kept up with the demands. From the dining car to the conductors, the staff were all stellar.

I guess what impressed me most was the conductor on the Starlight. There was a passenger who was quite elderly and impaired, and the conductor himself helped the man downstairs, asked what he wanted to eat, helped him order it and delivered it to his table. Airlines, you might take note of what defines customer service.

Overall, the staff could not have been more helpful and inviting. Even with the delays we were kept informed, and treated with every courtesy.

Next up: cafe food and the dining car!

Speak Those Goals

/ dorothyhagan / Leave a comment

It was the end of a brutal year. I found myself facing a divorce, single-parenthood, a draining job and pretty much the loss of everything I thought life had set out before me. But for the wise advice from a life-altering therapist, there’s no way to predict how things might have turned out.

But alas, that life-altering therapist was there. I sat before her awash in tears, despondent, hopeless. She gently suggested I set out some new goals for myself. I must have looked at her as though she had sprouted confetti from her forehead. The conversation went something like this:

Her: Let’s think about some new goals for you.
Me: Goals? You’ve got to be kidding.
Her: No, I mean it. Not resolutions. Those are never effective. I am talking about goals. Short and long term. Some you will hit, some you won’t hit this year, some you may never hit. But that’s okay. Because they are goals. They are desires that you have and are giving a voice to. So what are some short term goals?
Me: God. Breathing? Not driving my car off an overpass? Not setting my ex and his girlfriend on fire?
Her: Beyond the obvious. What are some things in say, the next six months, that you would like to accomplish?
Me: Well, I need to move out. I need to deal with legal crap. I need to find another place to live. My son and I have to move back in with my mother. In Pasadena. Jesus, save me.
Her: Okay. So what about after that? Longer term. What about a year from now? What about five years from now?

So at this point I had no earthly idea. Or so I thought. Again, with her gentle prodding, I began to move forward in my vision.

Me: Well, someday I would like to own another house. A place of my own. A place of peace and safety…Ah, hell. A house with a neighborhood swimming pool! (Okay, NOW the energetic visions were popping!)
Her: What about relationships?
Me: What do you mean?
Her: Relationships. What about another marriage someday? More children?

I was stunned. In my abyss of grief and loss, the notion of having another life, actually living the life of mother with kids with husband with happiness…could those things possibly even be imaginable?

Her: I want you to go home and write down everything you want to accomplish. Big and little. Great and small. Call it your Goals List. Do you want to travel? Add destinations. Different relationships? Add names. Believe me when I say You have the Power to Speak Things into Being.
Me: Okay.
Her: Times’ up. Leave a check with the receptionist. I’ll see you in a week.

So…that’s now been well over two decades ago. And you know what? I DID accomplish nearly everything I set out on those early goals lists. I DID move out. I DID get another house. I DID remarry. I DID have more children. I HAVE had the Life I dreamed of and thought was lost forever.

For the life of me I cannot remember that therapist’s name. I remember her face and the resolute determination she had to help me. And I thank God for her and for therapists and encouragers like her.

So fellow travelers…Speak your goals. Claim your future. Accept years with little change. (The Lose 30 Pounds goal has yet to be realized. But, hey, I’ll put it on this year’s list again!)

Here’s wishing you the best possible life for 2016 and beyond.